It’s all about DIGNITY with care…
Our daughter Trina suffered with Anorexia starting at age 17. We weren’t fully aware of it until she was age 18. As an adult, she chose not to get help. By age 19 having been a 4.0 student, she moved to South Carolina to support her husband in the Navy. She had plans but within the next 6 months as she was down to 78 lbs (still thinking she was fat). This narrative now controlled everything. Add in some domestic abuse and a seizure on base – we brought her home to recover May 2010.
She’d been the sober, no drugs, kid in high school but now was taking over the counter uppers to stay awake, drinking, etc – diminishing what was left of her body. In June of 2010 she suffered massive seizures, died and was resuscitated into a coma, alive but remained in a non-cognitive, vegetative state to this day.
Trina is an anomaly as she can seem ‘alert’ at times, but the bottom line is she cannot obey any commands and is like a 6-month-old baby (just turned 34).
Yes, this was a tragedy to our family. Lives were changed forever as we, her aging parents, are her full-time caregivers. Her care is tough but we do it with joy and love because we know she’s still here, has a sweet spirit and we want her filled up with love for as long as we can give it.
We don’t shame/blame those who don’t want to help or suggest a facility – we know the 3 of us are a team and we make sweet lemonade every day no matter the challenge. We ask God daily to give us long & healthy lives to stay caring for her.
Why? Because she deserves dignity. Her eyebrows are plucked, legs shaved, nice clothes put on her, we take her with us everywhere (she loves the outdoors). Even though she cannot talk to us, we trust that doing for her what she would do for herself if she could, gives her dignity. We are happy she laughs and smiles a lot. We all want love no matter our condition.
May dignity be given to all of those who are dependent on others for their care. It’s rewarding to give and it makes a difference.