Losing memories

I was in the passenger seat when the vehicle slid off the road and rolled 6 times down an embankment, I woke up bleeding and dizzy but knowing I had to hike back up that hill to get help. The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. It was November 6, 2011 and I was a 17 year old senior in high school. I wake up a lot of mornings with that event being my last memory and with absolutely no recollection of what has happened since then. Sometimes my memory resets itself after a day or so, and sometimes I am stuck in November for months at a time. I still don’t know exactly why this happens, but I do know my moderate TBI resulted in a slowing in my frontal lobe and an atypical seizure disorder. Losing 7 years worth of memory is terrifying, I think I should be in the hospital and going home to my parents house when instead I live in my own home with my husband and two little boys. I am incredibly lucky that my sweet husband always explains everything, shows me every picture and video of our entire relationship including wedding videos and the births of our boys. Every time this happens and I look at my life through what seems like a movie, I cannot help but to feel like I do not even know myself and for along time this completely consumed me. I didn’t understand my injury and I felt totally alone and like I was the only one. Now I know that TBI is so common and so many people are suffering from this. I used to hide but now I am so open about my TBI and think we all have a story to tell, THAT NEEDS TO BE TOLD. In telling my story and raising awareness I hope to make other TBI survivors feel that sense of community and know they aren’t alone.